Your Life Sucks Because You Expect It To Suck (and 10 Ways to Improve It Right Now)
Contrary to popular belief, you are in control of our life. You may believe, based on what you have been taught, that other people have at least some control over your destiny.
We want you to understand that this is not the case…unless you allow it to be.
You may have learned to expect life to be difficult, limiting, and unrewarding. Now is your chance to unlearn that, grow, and succeed.
The following list will help guide you through taking back control over your life. It’s a lot of information so I would suggest printing it out or bookmarking it so you can return on a regular basis and remind yourself what you are trying to accomplish.
1. Don’t Exist to Survive, Exist to Flourish
Everyone has basic survival needs. It is important that you seek to meet your needs and then strive to move beyond them.
So many people get caught up in meeting their needs that they stop after that small accomplishment. It’s paycheck to paycheck. We pay the rent, we pay the bills, we buy the food, we buy the clothes, we borrow for our pleasure and we go back to work. The money comes in, the money goes out, and the names are changed to protect the innocent.
An ant works all day and at the end of the day it’s still an ant and it’s still working. In order to break from the habits of the ant, you simply need to choose to do so. Don’t let life happen to you; you need to happen to life.
Get out of debt, get an emergency fund, generate more income, save for your retirement, and build wealth.
2. Don’t Allow Other People’s Limits To Control You
Your expectations of life were developed as a child. Your beliefs and views of the world depend on how your parents, grandparents, friends, and teachers interacted with you.
Some people think that they will never be rich or treated fairly because of their skin color. Others think they need the government to help them get ahead because their parents thought they needed the government. One friend told you that being rich was simply good fortune; that you had to win life’s lottery in order to make it. Your uncle told you that it’s impossible to live comfortably without borrowing money.
These people have set limits on you and you are allowing those limits to control your life.
You can identify a limit that has been set on you every time you find yourself thinking negatively about a situation or goal. Work to identify each limit as it presents itself and then conquer the limit by proving it wrong.
Free yourself from the control of other people’s beliefs.
3. Don’t Manufacture or Invite Pain
Do you believe that life has to be difficult? My Aunt always told me, “Life’s a bitch and then you die.” (I’ve conquered the limit she set on me, by the way).
Sometimes we invite pain because we don’t feel comfortable without it. Pain is at least a sign that you’re still alive, right? But does it help us or hold us back?
Life does not have to be hard. It’s really only as hard as you want it to be.
Say this to yourself a few times: I don’t owe anyone anything and I am not responsible for others. We bring pain on ourselves when we feel that we need to repay that which was given to us as a gift, or when we try to take responsibility for others.
Stop brining unnecessary pain on yourself.
4. Fix Yourself, Don’t Affix Blame
Be accountable for your past, present, and future. Whatever has happened thus far is your fault and whatever is going to happen in the future is also your fault.
If you affix blame and live life as a victim, you will stay a victim forever. Victims do not realize dreams and goals, proactive people do.
Besides, blaming doesn’t fix anything, only action does. If you want to improve your life, you have to take responsibility for it.
5. Forgive Others To Release Their Control Of You
Face whatever has been done to you in the past, recover from it, and then forgive.
When you fail to forgive, you allow the unforgiven person or thing to control you forever. It will be a constant weight hooked to your ankles that you choose to drag around for your entire life. Notice I said you choose to drag it around. You choose to drag it because you can also choose to break the chain at any time.
Face it, accept it, recover from it, and forgive. You will never find freedom without forgiveness.
6. Think Positive Of Yourself and Your Life
Cultivate an indomitable spirit. Believe you can and will succeed.
Make a list of positive statements about yourself and read them everyday.
Do not make excuses or put yourself down in conversations with others or with yourself. And analyze the people you come in contact with on a regular basis. Are these negative people or positive people? Your friends should support you and lift you up, not depress you and drag you down to their level.
And when someone compliments you, say thank you. That’s important. Many people receive compliments and respond with, “oh well, I’m really not…”.
Believe in yourself and others will believe in you.
7. Suppress Drama and Embrace Reality
If you notice, the drama queens always have drama in their life. Drama doesn’t find them, they find the drama. That’s because drama is a choice.
It’s also important to understand that drama limits you. It is a tool of victims. The more drama you allow in your life, the more you will lose sight of your goals. Drama does not create progress, it forbids it.
If you are around people who always experience drama of one type or another, think about distancing yourself from that person. You don’t need the baggage that comes with constant drama.
8. Fulfill Your Own Wants and Needs
Many people are caught up in putting other’s first. It is ingrained in a lot of us during childhood. Let your friends go first, serve the guests first, hold the door for others, etc. So when it comes to true needs and wants, we often transfer those learned behaviors and suppress ourselves.
Instead, start putting yourself first when you really want to or need to. If you are asked to work an extra day but you really feel like you need to spend some time with your family, don’t agree to work. If someone asks you what you want, don’t answer in generalizations or tell them it doesn’t matter, think about it and tell them what you really want.
Make your own wants and needs a number one priority.
9. Leave the Past Where it Belongs
The past is just that–the past. What happened in the past does not necessarily allude to what is going to happen in the future.
Each new career, new relationship, and new friendship have their own unique potential. If you were let down in the past, you can’t let that affect your present and future. They aren’t the same.
If you live in the past, you will constantly live in a self fulfilling prophecy. It’s the title of this article. Your life will suck because you expect it to suck. It’s that simple.
10. Realize that the Enemy is You
We have met the enemy, and he is us.
In order to conquer the outside, you must first conquer the inside. Look to yourself. We hold ourselves back more than anyone else has the power to. When you realize this is the reality you will find it easier to deal with your issues and make progress toward your goals.
Which of the ten points do you feel you need the most work on?